Thursday, April 27, 2017

"The Infernal History of the Ivybridge Twins"

by Molly Tanzer
originally published Historical Lovecraft, 2011

To avoid being conscripted into the Seven Years War, Mr. Villein, a younger cousin, takes up residence at Calipash Manor.  

Mr. Villein is a creep who has studied black magic, and when Lord Calipash marries Alys Fellingworth, a local girl Villein himself fancies, he plots revenge.  Lord Calipash ends up conveniently dead, but not before knocking up Alys.  To Villein's regret, the children (twins) are born healthy.  But a little of his black magic and things go awry.  Rosemary (the girl twin) has tiny, needle-sharp teeth at birth - which she uses to bite off her wet-nurse's nipple. She's also prone to, once a month, turning into a fish-humanoid, comeplete with gills.  Her brother, Basil, is only slightly less weird.  

Both twins are precocious in every way (including sexually), morbid, and creepy.  As they grow to teen-hood, Villein realizes he may have a problem controlling them.  He tricks Basil into being press-ganged into the navy, and proposes marriage to Rosemary (she accepts).  Basil is believed to have run away and vanished.

One day, a mysterious stranger shows up and sways Rosemary into feeding him with a sob story about his being press-ganged and taken to sea and all his family gone.  Villein, realizing who he is, attempts to raise a stink but is promptly shot by Rosemary.  She and Basil live morbidly ever after.

An amusing and stylish little oddity, actually quite funny, about an 18th-century Addams family.  I wouldn't mind reading more by Tanzer.





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