Jimmy and Maye Welk are a couple of rednecks who live in their double-wide on four acres in North Carolina. One day they get a call from a vacuum cleaner salesman, and, since gettin' a new vacuum seems like a good idea, they asks him to come on down. So's they gets a visit from Mr. Jeng ("from Leng") who seems like a nice enuff sort even tho he is oriental and all. Before having him show `em his vacuum, they have a few drinks of Jim's homebrew'd likker. Mr. Jeng passes out. So's Jimmy opens up the box and takes out this weird machine with no plug - just a cylinder with a wheel on one end and a dick-like hose on t'other. And some instructions they can't make hide ner hair outta `cept there's somethin' about "Ithaqua" - ain't that in New York? They turns it on and the next thing you knows, they's suckin' up the furniture and the curtains an' all. Well, finally they manages to shet the durn thing down (meanwhile, there's a big storm brewin' outsides) an' call the company to come git there weirdass vacuum cleaner an' they don' know what happened to Mr. Jeng `cept it appears like he got sucked in, too! So's some more orientals comes down from the company an' they take away the vacuum an' somethin' red an' frozen they find up in some power lines an' it seems they's trees all rooted up and lines all torn down an' Jimmy realizes he's standin' in some giant footprints is what he is! So's he an' Maye decide to just stick to brooms and dustpans from nows on.
Christ, I knew when I saw the title this was gonna be a stupid story and it managed to be even dumber than I expected!
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