Thursday, April 2, 2020

"Love's Eldritch Ichor"

by Esther M. Friesner
originally published World Fantasy Convention 1990: An H.P. Lovecraft Centenary Celebration, Weird Tales Ltd., 1990

Robin Pennyworth works for Columbine Press, a cheap-ass publisher that makes a habit of ripping off its authors.  His boss, editor-in-chief, Marybeth Conran, hands him new author Sarah Pickman as an assignment.  Sarah has written - or discovered, a manuscript - Fires On the Sea - by a deceased distant relative, one H.P. Lovecraft.  It tells the story of the relationship between Captain Uriah Whateley and his exotic South Seas bride.  Conran dispatches Robin to Sarah's home in Arkham to make sure the naïve author doesn't discover she's being robbed blind. 

Upon meeting Sarah - bulging-eyed and batrachian, Robin - who apparently has strange tastes - falls instantly in love.  He returns to NYC, determined to make sure Sarah gets her fair due.  Sarah follows, accompanied by her chaperones - Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, and Yog-Sothoth.  Robin soon finds himself the new editor-in-chief of Columbine Press.

As stated elsewhere, I'm often not a fan of attempts at Lovecraft humor, but this sucker is funny as hell!  That's cause Friesner writes well and is genuinely witty: "Robin had never seen a gambrel roof before, especially not one with a Garfield wind sock hanging from the eaves".  Probably one of the funniest Cthulhu-jokes I've come across.



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