Warning

WARNING! These reviews all contain SPOILERS!!!!

Friday, October 5, 2018

"The Vengeance of Yig"

by Lin Carter
originally published Weird Tales #4, 1983

Z'hu Gthaa, savant of the Ninth Circle, a resident of ancient K'nyan, is unhappy because his fellow K'nyan-ians would rather lounge around and engage in kinky sexual practices than indulge in the obviously more pleasurable act of studying the lore and magic of the ancient serpent-people of Yoth.  

Z'hu is determined, among other things, to learn why the serpent-people abandoned Yoth for other parts of the globe, after taking up the worship of Tsathoggua over Yig, their original deity of choice.  To this end, he descends into the even-more-subterranean-than-K'nyan region of Yoth.  There he soon finds the ruins of the serpent city of Zzoon.  Hieroglyphs there lead him even further, to a place called Ngoth, which turns out to be a big pit surrounded by megaliths.  While farting around in Zzoon, he is constantly menaced by giant snakes which take out several of his pack animals and slaves.

The hieroglyphs on the stones tell him the rest of the story.  The serpent-people didn't leave.  Yig revenged himself on them for turning to Mr. Toad-Blob, and turned them all into giant snakes.  The same giant snakes that have caused Z'hu all this trouble, and are now closing in on him, outnumbering his party vastly, as his atomic gun weapon runs out of charges...

Even by Lin Carter standards, this isn't much more than a throwaway; another Smith pastiche, this time set in the subterranean lands Lovecraft invented in "The Mound."  There's not much of a story here and the whole thing seems almost tongue-in-cheek.



Wednesday, October 3, 2018

"The Lair of the Star-Spawn"

by August Derleth and Mark Schorer
originally published Weird Tales, August 1932

Eric Marsh is part of a scientific expedition in Burma, c. 1902, in search of the legendary city of Alaozar, to be found on the Plateau of Sung.  Things haven't been going easily, esp. since the natives are reluctant to provide guides, due to fear of the "Tcho Tcho" people said to live on "the Lake of Dread."  In proper early 20the century style, the explorers have dismissed their fears and soldiered on.

Do I have to point out this was a bad move?

Marsh has to break ranks and briefly return to the camp they've left behind because the chowderhead expedition leader didn't remember to pack all his stuff.  This happens to save Marsh's ass since, as he's riding back to join his buds, he hears a lot of screaming and, hiding in some bushes cuz he realizes he can't do anything to stop it, he watches them get slaughtered by a bunch of pygmies aka the Tcho Tcho's.

With his team slaughtered, Marsh decides there's no point in going back, so instead he rifles the bodies (the Tcho Tchos took all the tools and weapons but left the food and water - and since they took the shovels, he can't even bury the bodies) and sets off to find the lost city all by hisself.  He does briefly stop to consider what's just happened with "grief mingled with fear", just so's we know he's not a complete idiot or asshole.  Even though he obviously is both.

Marsh makes his way to within sight of the city itself, which isn't too difficult since the city is shooting beams of white light into the sky.  Marsh settles down to make camp but is jumped by Tcho Tchos and wakes up in a nice soft bed in Alaozar. He's greeted by Dr. Fo-Lan, a Chinese scientist who was thought to have died some years ago.  In fact, Fo-Lan's been a slave of the Tcho Tchos all this time, forced to help them unleash some awful terror upon the world.  Fo-Lan tells Marsh that now, the two of them can thwart the Tcho Tchos sinister plans.

Fo-Lan leads him down a secret passage, where they watch the Tcho Tchos bow down to their leader, the priest E-Poh ("he is seven thousand years old" says Fo-Lan), and the tentacle-lump monster that lurks in the shadows, which Fo-Lan informs him is named Lloigor.

Fo-Lan asks Marsh to watch his body while he astrally projects to get help.  This goes off without a hitch.  Once back in flesh, Fo-Lan informs him that he must convince E-Poh to open the gates to Lloigor and Zhar (Lloigor's twin, buddy, girlfriend, whatever), at which time "the Star Warriors" can come and save everyone's bacon.

Fo-Lan goes to E-Poh and tells him that Zhar sez the Tcho Tchos must summon Lloigor and Zhar from the city, while he and Marsh go out onto the plateau and do a ritual of their own.  Despite displaying a couple of seconds of incredulity that Zhar would communicate with Fo-Lan and not him, E-Poh, who obviously hasn't learned much in his 7K years, is down with it but sends four Tcho Tchos to accompany them.

They ride out onto the plateau, and Fo-Lan and Marsh promptly kill the four Tcho Tchos.  Giant, flaming humanoid figures bearing tube-like weapons descend from the sky and whack the city of Alaozar but good.  Satisfied, Fo-Lan and Marsh return to civilization.

Man ... y'know sometimes you come across something that's so bead it makes your head spin!

Last time I read "Lair", I was 15, and I remembered it as a slightly dumb but spooky and fun actioner.  It's actually neither spooky nor fun, not much action and more than slightly dumb.  The story goes that Derleth was outlining the plots and Schorer writing the prose, which scans since the writing is blander than skim milk and shows little or none of Derleth's usual style.  The story also goes that Derleth/Schorer weren't exactly best buds, and I'm left to entertain myself by thinking that Auggie must've been pissed at Schorer the night he left him this crap plot.  Seriously, not a single character makes an intelligent or even logical decision in the whole thing.  A scientist, an explorer, and 7,000 year old high priest and not a one of them has a clue between them.

The geek squad would rate this story "important" I suppose since it introduces the Tcho Tcho people (who T.E.D. Klein would do more interesting things with) and Lloigor and Zhar, who Derleth himself (and Colin Wilson, sorta) would do more interesting things with.  In the end, this is a bit of pulp throwaway without much to recommend it.




Tuesday, October 2, 2018

"The Horror from the Depths"

by August Derleth and Mark Schorer 
originally published Strange Stories, October 1940 (as "The Evil Ones")

While dredging a lake for the Chicago World's Fair in 1931, workman turn up a couple of strange specimens -  what appear to be the arm or tentacle, and perhaps the head, of some large, unknown species.  Chief Engineer John Tennant, our narrator known only as "Sharp", and Prof. Jordan Holmes of the field museum study these odd things, and insist on calling them "fossils", even though there's clearly nothing fossilized about them.  They are however, boneless. Holmes also calls them "bloodless" even though they ooze greenish-black goop which, y'know, sounds like blood to me (sort of).  

One other interesting factor - the specimens change - throwing out new tendrils or tentacles, but only when no one's watching.

Sharp gets an urgent call one morning from Holmes, saying he's on his way to pick Sharp up and head for the museum - "something highly out of the ordinary had occurred.  En route, Holmes tells him that just before dawn, he received a phone call from the museum.  He was unable to remember what the caller said, but he remembers "someone screaming ... horrible babbling sounds ... a sucking noise ... someone whistling..."  Instead of doing anything about it there or then, he just went back to bed!

( Now, I have to stop here and note that I'm torn between pointing out that this is one of those hilarious lapses of logic and common sense that periodically occur when Derleth heads up to Lovecraft country - I mean, seriously - you get a call from the office at dawn with someone screaming, babbling sounds, sucking sounds, etc ... and you go back to bed???? But then again ... you get a call from the office at dawn with someone screaming, babbling sounds, sucking sounds, etc ... so fuck it, you go back to bed.  Maybe Holmes isn't so dumb after all.  Perhaps this is the Lovecraftian equivalent of Peter in Office Space leaving his answering machine on to take message after message from his insufferable boss)

Well, at the museum the guard is unsurprisingly dead and mangled.  And the glass case that had contained the specimens is shattered, and the specimens gone ... though they've left some bits of themselves behind for a touch of grossness.  Holmes and Sharp sit around thinking about what these gloop-monsters might actually be.  Then they meet rather pointlessly with some other eggheads in which everyone decides that they don't know what the hell is going on.  Meanwhile, another mangled body turns up in Grant Park.  Oops! 

They wander off to Grant Park and check out the crime scene with impunity, noting especially the weird giant tracks that come up out of, then return to, the lake. As a group, they decide the best thing to do is to just hope the beastie won't come out again, and they go back to work intending to forget the whole thing (what is it with these dudes?).  Sharp notes that "it was a relief to get back to work, to order men about" which tells you something about his idea of a good time.

Meanwhile, Holmes has been to the library (uh oh), the folklore and mythology section (yipes!) and guess what he found?  You got it - The Necronomicon - cue two-page explanation of the Mythos According to Derleth, complete with name-dropping! Holmes is now righteously freaked out, but Sharp tries to dismiss the whole thing.

Not fer long.  The night watchman Jackson calls Sharp that evening to tell him that "big shadowy things" are coming out of the lake - "should I call the police?" he asks.  People are dumber than usual in this story.  Sharp rushes over to take a look.

On the scene, he witnesses 8-10 big shadowy things over the lake.  And finds Jackson's mutilated body.  The cops show up and question him - he gives dishonest answers that sound even more far-fetched than the truth would.

Holmes shows up with a Latin volume, the "confessions" of a Roman named Clithanus which make reference to creepies sorta like what they seem to be dealing with, and how they were driven beneath the waters and sealed away using "blessed stars". Holmes has his eureka.  If they can just find those "blessed stars" - whatever they are!

Their nebulous plan is interrupted by the sounds of riot at Municipal Pier.  As they drive out, they hear a cacophony of screaming, laughing - but also snarling, whistling, and sucking sounds.  They are turned away by a phalanx of cops.

The next day there are reports of 22 dead on the pier, the sighting of the beasties, and an incident of mass hysteria and violence.  For no explicable reason, the local papers treat it all as something of a joke (??!!??).  Tennant decides the best course of action is to get some buddies with machine guns and go down and dust these monsters when they come up out of the lake.  Holmes and Sharp ineffectually try to stop him and end up watching even more ineffectually from a distance as this plan goes horribly wrong, and most of Tennant's men are killed (Tennant survives but suffers a complete psychological breakdown).  In Tennant's pocket, Holmes finds a star-shaped stone (DAH DUM!!)

The next day Tennant is sane enough again, and informs that he found the star-stone by the side of the lake.  The dredge had brought up about fifty of them, and Tennant, for no apparent reason, decided to grab one.  Sharp and Holmes hightail it over to the lake, where they find the star-stone pile untouched. They load them into a crate and sail out onto the lake at dusk, where they board a barge, draw a pentacle - decorating it with star-stones, and read a banishing ritual from Clithanus.

There is a great whispering and whistling sound.  The star-stones begin to glow, and the whole sky lights up.  Sharp passes out like a good Lovecraftian hero.

He wakes up, still on the barge.  All is quiet.  Holmes is there too, unconscious.  The star-stones have checked out.  The barge is surrounded by stinky green slime.  Sharp and Holmes head home.  Holmes explains that what he missed was The Elder Gods, in the form of great pillars of fire, descending from the skies and whacking the gloop-monsters once and for all with beams of light.  

Well ... that was a ride!

I first came across "The Horror from the Depths" in a little book called Colonel Marksean and Less Pleasant People, an Arkham House pub that I found in my local library when I was 14.  At that particular moment, putting my hands on an actual Arkham House book was the most exciting thing I could imagine short of putting my hands on an actual girl!  So I took it home and devoured it, mostly while cutting school.  

Colonel Markesan is the "cream" of a group of stories co-written by August Derleth and Mark Schorer, a fellow aspiring author from Sauk City, WI.  The way the intro tells it, the two of them shacked up in a cabin on a lake in the summer of 1931, and ground out a plethora of quickie horror stories for the Weird Tales market.  As I remember the book the stories were nothing special but were fun reads, and it amusingly checked off a whole list of standard horror themes:  werewolf - check, vampire - check, ghost - check.  No surprise Derleth crammed in a couple of Cthulhus while hitting the check boxes.  I also thought this sounded like a lot of fun and wished I had a fellow horror-loving aspiring author I could shack up with in college and just crank out horror stories (it never happened).

Decades later Peter Ruber's Arkham's Masters of Terror came long to blow my bubble.  It turns out Schorer and Derleth were hardly buddies - Schorer was a rich kid who looked down on Aug's working-class mein but buddied up to him when he learned he was actually publishing fiction.  Aug took pity on the little turd and helped him by dropping by the cavern in the wee hours and leaving him some outlined plots, which Schorer would then write up.  Over the years, Schorer became a noted Wisconsin regionalist, like Derleth himself.  But he also blatantly and extensively plagiarized Derleth on numerous occasions, an act Derleth took him to task for, and which Schorer ultimately owned up to (after Derleth had passed).  

While I'll revisit the Colonel one day, for now I'll stay with this'n.  "Horror from the Depths" is decidedly tepid stuff, with an uninteresting menace, conclusion, and laughable lapses of logic, especially when it comes to the characters' behavior.  While the plot does indeed seem like boiler-plate Derleth-Lovecraft riff, Schorer's prose style is decidedly less compelling than Aug's, which was usually effective and atmospheric, even at his worst.  This is very minor-league stuff.
































Monday, October 1, 2018

"Something From Out There"

by August Derleth
originally published Weird Tales, January 1951

Dr. William Currie of the coastal English town of Lynwold is woken in the night by the constable - he's brought Geoffrey Malver, scion of the local lord Malver, whom he found "out of his head" in the town.  Geoff is indeed checked out, clutching a star-shaped stone, and babbling about "something from out there"... The star-shaped stone has an inscription on it, written by no less than the Augusine, Bishop of Hippo (which is awesome because it means the English have an even sillier title than "Earl of Sandwich), which reads that it imprisons something "accursed in the sight of God, follower of Mad Cthulhu."  Woo hoo - pay dirt!.  

Currie can't get very far with Geoff, who was apparently farting around the skeleton of a ruined cathedral in the area, and a meeting with Lord Malvern yields little except that there was some scandal of some sort over at Oxford U, where Geoff has been a student, that led to the expulsion of two of Geoff's frat brothers, one Soames Hemery and one Duncan Vernon.  This line of investigation is temporarily curtailed when some local kids turn up - having been lost in some coastal caves which they found through a tunnel system they discovered in the ruins of the same aforementioned cathedral.  Said kids also came upon the corpse of a local fisherman, which is in a bad state being both crushed, and frozen!

After some persuading, Hemery and Vernon admit that their expulsion was the result of their studies and dablling in black magic (since apparently getting incoherently drunk and attempting to rape co-eds wasn't a thing yet).  Geoff, the least indoctrinated of them, had trucked out to the cathedral looking for proof or some such, and had apparently pried the star-stone off a sealed casket of some kind, thus releasing an Ick From Beyond which is presumably now couch-surfing in the caves while killing anyone unlucky enough to cross its path, thus making itself stronger.  The game's afoot, Currie!  The three of them rush off the the cathedral to save the world!

En route, they are intercepted by a farmer who's just watched one of his hands get mangled by a big moving shadow (Farmer Jonathan watched this happen through a pair of field glasses - apparently he lacked female neighbors).  In any case, the field hand is, like the fisherman, both crushed and frozen.  No matter - to the cathedral!

There our heroes confront the Thing, described as a shadowy, "greenish hulk" (no, not that greenish hulk!) with tentacles and three eyes, and engage in an allegedly epic battle (I say allegedly because Derleth actually just tosses it off in a couple sentences stating that the battle was lengthy and "endless") before forcing it back in its box and sealing it back up with the star-stone.  The world saved, our intrepid band heads off for the local pub, but Currie still wonders what other horrors might be sealed up, somewhere, waiting to be released...

This is obviously pretty Lovecraft-Lite stuff and no classic.  Yet it's also curiously buried, having not appeared in any of Derleth's collections of Cthulhu-ery - it's still a bit on the rare side, publication-wise.  This is kinda too bad since it is far from terrible and actually has some good points.  There's a reasonable bit of atmosphere, and, for a change, when Hemery and Vernon explain the Mythos, the whole thing is dashed off in a quick paragraph with fleeting references to the usual suspects, as opposed to the usual tiresome lecture and endless name-dropping and bibiliography Derleth usually indulges in at this point in his Lovecraft-type stories.  

The final portion is odd, and feels very rushed, as if Derleth somehow needed to shut down real fast.  The monster is only vaguely (and thus effectively) described, but the "epic" battle, as mentioned, is simply tossed off as an afterthought.  I was left wondering what a more action-oriented writer, such as Robert E. Howard, might have done with such a scene.  It feels like a missed opportunity that could have delivered a nice payoff after a solid buildup.  

By no means any classic, but still one of Auggie's better ventures into this territory.  It deserves greater availability.





Sunday, September 16, 2018

"The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath"

by H.P. Lovecraft

originally published Beyond the Wall of Sleep, Arkham House, 1943

Randolph Carter is having one of those frustrating dreams where the damn thing shuts down just when its about to get good.  And its recurring no less! Randy's recurring dream happens to be of a beautiful city, "All golden and lovely it blazed in the sunset, with walls, temples, colonnades, and arched bridges of veined marble, silver-basined fountains of prismatic spray in broad squares and perfumed gardens, and wide streets marching between delicate trees and blossom-laden urns and ivory statues in gleaming rows; while on steep northward slopes climbed tiers of red roofs and old peaked gables harbouring little lanes of grassy cobbles" - well, this is Lovecraft, after all.  You didn't really think Carter would have recurring dreams about Catherine Zeta-Jones or something, did you?

Frustrated, Carter prays to the gods of the dreamworld/dreamlands to tell him where the city is.  In response, the dreams stop altogether.  Now very determined, Carter decides to stage a home invasion on the dreamworld gods, at their crib in Kadath.  Only hitch is - he's not sure where Kadath is, or how to get there.  

Well, every journey begins with the first step, right?  Well, Randy takes 70 of `em to the Cavern of the Flame - the entry to the Dreamlands.  There the guardian priests tell its a harebrained scheme and that there's probably a reason why the gods took his dreams away.  But Randy ain't takin' no fer an answer.

So he enters the Enchanted Wood and hangs out with some "zoogs", who have good wine and sometimes eat people (but not Randy cuz he's an old friend and speaks their language).  They can't tell him how to get to Kadath, but suggest he try Atal, in the the town of Ulthar.  Atal isn't all that helpful, but, plied with wine Carter got from the zoogs,  he does let slip that on Mount Ngranek, there's a giant stone face that's modeled on a Dreamlands god.  And gods often mate with mortal women.  So, if Carter can get a look at that face, he'll get an idea of what gods look like, and thus the mortal offspring of gods look like, and if he can find folks that have god-like features, he might be getting close to Kadath! Right???

(If your head's starting to hurt trying to follow this line of logic, please know that I understand)

Carter makes his way to Dyath-Leen, a port city where sinister black galleys, crewed by weird, turbaned men and manned by oarsmen who are never seen, dock and trade.  His plan is to book passage for Oriab, whence he can go to Mt. Ngranek.  Instead he ends up shanghai'd aboard a black galley.  They sail to an ocean on the moon, where he discovers the turban-heads are actually slaves of the gloopy octo-toad moon-beasts.  He is rescued by a vast army of cats from Ulthar, who can leap from the rooftops of their hometown to the moon itself(!).  They take him back to Dyath-Leen.

Carter goes to Baharna, a port of Oriab, buys a zebra and sets off for the mount.  Along the way he hears spooky tales of things called "night-gaunts".  He makes his way up the Mount (no easy task!) and finds the carving.  He realizes he has indeed scene people with similar features to this god - in Celphais!  (you know Celephais, right?).  Before RC can plan his itinerary further, he's snatched by the night-gaunts - flying devil-bat people without faces, and dropped into the Vale of Pnath.

But wait! All hope is not lost!  Some friendly(!) ghouls lead Carter (who also speaks ghoul.  Miskatonic U foreign languages department must be an interesting place), who lead him to his old buddy, Richard Upton Pickman, last seen running off "rats" in his Boston studio, currently a half- or semi-ghoul himself.  Pickman and a couple other ghoulies agree to help Carter get back on his track.

In the city of the gugs, Carter and co are attacked by ghasts, and a gug sentry, but escape back into the Enchanted Wood.  There Carter finds himself in the middle of a war between cats and zoogs.  Carter warns the cats, allowing them to surprise attack the zoogs and cause them to sue for peace.  

In the city of Thran, Carter books passage on a ship to Celephais.  There he learns that the men he believes to be offspring of the gods come from a cold, dark land called Iganok.  And that is a place most folks avoid.  And there's no cats there!  It apparently lies too close to the Plateau of Leng, a place of greeeeeeeeaaat eviiiiiiil, for most folks to want to hang.  He does some drinking with King Kuranes, who encourages him to forget his plan.

Carter books passage to Iganok and hears some more creepy tales.  But no one will tell him much.  At night, strange howls are heard from the land.  Carter gets himself a yak and sets out in search of a rare onyx quarry, which he believes will put him in proximity of his goal.  He finds it, but is promptly captured by the sneaky slant-eyed merchant he met in Dyath-Leen, and he finds himself making an unwanted trip via shantak to the monastery of the dreaded High Priest Not to Be Described.

Carter realizes that ol' Slant is a Man of Leng, and that the turban conceals horns.  Carter is taken before the high priest.  Though terrified, he pushes Slant into a well and escapes.  He realizes that he is in the ruins of Sarkomand.  He finds his three ghoul-friends captive of the Men of Leng and some more moon-beasts.  He trips back to the underworld and raises an army of ghouls and night-gaunts, rescues the captives, and arranges for a flock of night-gaunts to transport him and some ghouls to Kadath. 

After a flight full of ominous implications, they arrive at the palace of the gods, but no one's home (though the lights are indeed on).  A pharoah-looking fellow arrives and tells Carter that (a) the gods have, in fact, taken up residence in that very city he seeks and that (b) that city is, in fact, Boston!

(I have honestly never heard Boston described as "golden and lovely" - "dirty, old, crime-ridden, drivers who run down pedestrians" yes.  But maybe I don't get out enough.)

Pharoah reveals himself to be Nyarlathotep.  He pops him on a shantak to fly him home.  Mid-flight, Carter deduces that Ny has been f'ing with him, and is actually sending him to Azathoth himself.  Remembering at last that this is, after all, a dream, Carter jumps off the bird, falls through space, and wakes up to a beautiful day in Boston.   Back in Kadath, Nyarlathotep broods.

What we have hear is, effectively, a travelogue.  Of the Dreamlands, Lovecraft's own version of "beyond the fields we know".  

Lin Carter states emphatically that Dream Quest is not a Cthulhu Mythos tale.  To prove this further, he asserts that Lovecraft scholars Robert E. Briney and Robert Weinberg agree with him - so there!  And if that isn't enough, he trots out no less than August Derleth, who insisted that Dream Quest was distinctly separate from Lovecraft's Cthulhu stories, as his own Sac Prairie stories were separate from his "Wisconsin" stories - despite the fact that characters may interconnect in both.

My own opinion is that this is a lot of hair-splitting bullshit that only a bunch of very literal minds or hapless nerds would give much credence to.  Lovecraft wrote it, it's Lovecraft, its Cthulhoid.  If that's too simple or complex for ya - go suck on a dhole.

It's hard to know what to say about Dream-Quest.  For starters, it's not really a finished work, and in some places, it reads like a detailed outline or treatment as much as it does a story.  HPL set it aside in 1927 and never returned to it.  He wrote little or no Dunsany-influenced fiction afterwards, and I suspect he simply no longer related to it.  Perhaps, had he lived to a ripe old, he would revisited and polished it up.  Perhaps not.

I first read Dream-Quest when I was around 15 or 16, the tail end of my Lovecraft Lust phase.  It was one of the last major HPL stories that I read.  I recall somewhat struggling with it.  The nature of the story seemed to cry out for more ... dialog? action?  I wasn't sure.  The lack of chapter divisions troubled me for some reason, and somehow made the story more of a slog (though it isn't really all that long - 90 pages in printed form).  In all the years since, it is one of the pieces I've never revisited - though there are many other Lovecraft stories I've read only once, this is probably the only major Lovecraft tale I had not previously revisited.

So what now, is my perception, 35+ years later?  A bit hard to say.  I didn't find it a slog - in fact, I genuinely enjoyed reading it (though the lack of chapter divisions still bothers me - and I couldn't even tell you why).  I found myself both awed and amused by the creativity and imagination, and sheer surrealism of the whole venture (It's a shame Basil Wolverton never illustrated Dream-Quest.  He's almost the only one I can imagine doing it justice.)  There are several memorable moments.  The whole cat-battles thing which made me laugh - both for HPL's obvious love of felines (which I share) and the absurdity of imagining cats forming a disciplined army; the chase through the city of the gugs is both spooky and exciting.  There are several memorably eerie moments (though the story is not intended to be horror) of the sort HPL did best.  Basically, I had a lot of fun with it.  

But I didn't love it.  Whether its the unfinished feel of the whole thing, a preference for different kinds of fantasy, the thought that perhaps Dunsany did this sort of thing better (I can't be sure of that - I read quite a bit of Dunsany in the 80's, but not since.  He too is someone I need to revisit).  In any case, I'd rule Dream-Quest to be worthwhile and enjoyable, not one of HPL's most shining moments.  








Friday, September 14, 2018

"The Haunting of Uthnor"

by Laurence J. Cornford
originally published The Book of Eibon, Chaosium, 2002

Eibon and a former pupil, Cyron, go to investigate a procession of ghosts appearing in Uthnor.  While watching a spectral vision, the inhabitants of the village are driven mad and burn down the village, killing one another.

Cyron and Eibon determine there is a link between the spectral manifestations and an orbiting comet, which is in fact a chunk of Azathoth.  

To find answers, they design a glass that sees through time.  They see the past of Hyperborea, then its fall, its replacement by the modern age, then the fall of our civilization, and many more, all the way out to far-future Zothique, and finally, the end of the world.  All of this connected with the comet.

Eibon and Cyron realize there is nothing they can do to prevent these things.

An evocative bit of Smith-iana.  Still nothing special.




"The Burrower Beneath"

by Robert M. Price
originally published Fungi #16, Fall 1997

Eibon seeks the secret of immortality in the writings of Koth-Serapis, an ancient sorceror (ancient even in Hyperborean times!!).   He determines that he must contact the spirit of K-S.  

He travels to a distant isle, and finds a spot to perform his ritual.  A dhole-like creature appears to him, and snarkily informs him that the secret of eternal life entails become a living, decaying corpse - and if you're cool with that, it can be done.

Eibon realizes that the dhole-like creature is K-S, and is dissuaded from his plan.

An amusing bit of Smith-iana.







Thursday, September 13, 2018

"In the Vale of Pnath"

by Lin Carter
originally published Nameless Places, Arkham House, 1975

Eibon seeks the secret ingredient for the Ygthar Elixir.  According to the records of Zon Mezzamalech, its something called the Glund Fluid.  But none of Eibon's researches tell him what this Glund Fluid is.

Traveling to the Peaks of Throk, he learns that the Fluid is drawn from a giant, tortured living brain!

Another Smith pastiche from Carter.  Less inspired than some others.




Sunday, September 9, 2018

"The Offspring of the Tomb"

by Laurence J. Cornford
originally published The Book of Eibon, Chaosium, 2001

Journeying in search of materials for magic, Eibon encounters an old friend, Yhok-Omi.  It seems Yhok-Omi is in dire straits, being hunted by his own son, Gadamon, now a ghoulish creature.  Though Eibon and Y-O try to ward off the beastie, Gadamon eventually gets his prey.

Another amusing Smith pastiche.


"Annotations for the Book of Night"

by Robert M. Price
originally published Mythos Online #2, July, 1997

Eibon acquires a fragment of a book said to contain important magical secrets.  Every day, the book seems to repair itself and more information filled in.  The ghost of the original owner appears, and Eibon hands the book over.

Another amusing Smith-ian pastiche.

Saturday, September 8, 2018

"Utressor"

by Laurence J. Cornford
originally published The Book of Eibon, Chaosium, 2001

Eibon and Zaljis pass into another world called Utressor, where they experience many strange things before concluding that Utressor may be nothing more than the dream of a madman.

Another entertaining Smith-ian pastiche, but nothing more.

"Shaggai"

by Lin Carter
originally published Dark Things, Arkham House, 1971

Eibon keeps summoning a demon named Pharol to answer a question about a passage in the Pnakotic Manuscripts.  Pharol keeps telling him he must talk to "the Dweller in the Pyramid".   

After visiting several other worlds, including Yuggoth, Eibon learns that he must journey to Shaggai, a planet everyones afraid of.

On Shaggai, he finds a gigantic pyramid, wherein the hieroglyphs and sigils and pictographs freak him out, and he finds a giant, white, luminescent dhole-thing eating slowly away at the planet.  He flees in horror.

An evocative but rather pointless bit of Smith-iana.






"The Cats of Ulthar"

by H.P. Lovecraft
originally published The Tryout, November, 1920

Once upon a time in Ulthar, there was a cotter ad his wife who liked to trap and kill cats.  The townsfolk were too afraid of them to put a stop to it.

A caravan of traders comes through the town, and on it is an orphan boy named Menes, whose only companion is a black kitten.  The kitten disappears.  Menes, having heard tell of the old couple, takes revenge by praying to the gods.  And he is heard.  

That night, after several ominous warning signs, the cats of the town surround the cotter's home.  They come back fat and happy.  But all that's left of the cotter and his wife are two clean-picked skeletons.  The authorities of Ulthar pass a law forbidding the killing of cats.

I don't have any particular thoughts to offer about this little Dunsanian bon-bon, except that its as close as HPL ever came to sweet.  And as a guy who grew up with a cat and always loved them, I like it.








Sunday, August 19, 2018

"The Demon of the Ring"

by Laurence J. Cornford
originally published The Book of Eibon, Chaosium, 2001

While traveling, Eibon hears of an abandoned temple haunted by a demon, once summoned to protect the sacred ground but now overzealously keeping away all comers.  Eibon tricks the demon and binds it into a ring.

This is another Smith pastiche, but is particularly clever and enjoyable.  I liked this one!







"The Door to Saturn"

by Clark Ashton Smith
originally published Strange Tales, January 1932

Morghi, high priest of Youndeh, comes to arrest Eibon, but finds him absent.  A search of the premises reveals a mysterious metal plate.  This plate is a doorway to the planet Cykranosh, known to us as Saturn.  It turns out Eibon has fled there.  Morghi follows him.

Morghi and Eibon are adopted by a friendly race called the Bhlemphroims, who have their faces in their abdomens.  Soon Eibon and Morghi learn that they are intended to be the mates, and then meals, of the literal mother of the race.  They escape and are taken in by the Ydheems, a similar race with more normal reproductive practices.  They live out their days there.

This is one of Smith's more humorous stories.  Quite absurd, but funny in its very weirdness and shaggy-dog punchline involving the god Hziulquoigmnzhah and his instructions to Eibon on their first meeting.




"The Incubus of Atlantis"

by Robert M. Price
originally published Cosmic Visions #7, September 1997

Klarkash-Ton, a reincarnation of Eibon, learns to astrally project himself into the bodies of others.  He uses this talent to get inside the bodies of men while they're screwing, thus enjoying himself with the Queen of the king who is is patron.

The court magician Mozillan takes note.  When K-A tries to take his woman, he traps K-A in a bottle of Atlantean wine.

Another amusing bit of Smith-iana.





"The Acolyte of the Flame"

by Lin Carter
originally published Crypt of Cthulhu #36, Yuletide, 1985

Athlok, a member of the Pnakotic Brethren, comes to believe he is the subject of a prophecy who will save Hyperborea from the encroaching ice age.

Through his hubris, he ends up releasing the Great Old One Aphoom Zhah, who only hastens the ice age.

Another minor Smith pastiche from Carter.


"The Will of Claude Ashur"

by C. Hall Thompson

originally published Weird Tales, July 1947

Richard Ashur had it made.  Family money, an old manse, the beginnings of a successful literary career.  But then there was always his younger brother, Claude.

Claude was a problem from his entrance, which cost the mother her life.  Dad doted on him, but while Richard was ultra-ordinary, Claude was weird weird weird.  Solitary, secretive - and waaaaaay too interested in the Black Arts(!) We all know where that leads in a Cthulhu story, right kiddies?

Richard tried to be buds, but Claude wasn't having it.  It didn't help when Richard discovered Claude had killed his dog - by black magic(!!)

 Finally, Richard goes off to college.  And soon, Claude does too - to Miskatonic U., natch.  

Things don't go well.  Claude wants to quit college, against their father's wishes.  Soon after, dad snuffs it mysteriously, and Clause is kicked out (of Miskatonic U. - for spending too much time studying the black arts!!! At Miskatonic????).  Richard finds evidence that black magic was the murder weapon, but of course he can't prove anything.

Richard gets on with life while Claude heads off to the Indies and more dark deeds.  Occasionally Richard hears word of Claude's nefarious doings.  Then one day he gets a letter - Claude's coming back to live in the family manse - with his wife!

Claude turns up something a changed man.  And his wife, Gratia Thane, is one hot little number!  It soon turns out (of course) that Claude has her mind-controlled with his magic.  But that ain't all!! No, it seems Claude is gradually working on switching bodies with her.  "Think of what I can do with her loveliness!" he exults.

Well, Richard does his bestest to stop the whole proceedings.  After Claude attacks him, he manages to get Claude committed for good.  But no, that's not where it ends.  Claude's still got the wherewithal to do his body-exhange magic, and this time, he does it on Richard!  Who soon finds himself inhabiting the body of Claude, locked away in an insane asylum - but what's more - it turns out ol' Claude had caught himself a baaaaaad case of leprosy while in the islands, and the docs deem him not only hopelessly insane, but dying fast....

This is Weird Tales pulp horror with a capital "P".  But that's not to say it isn't a fun read.  As some others have pointed out, Thompson has essentially assembled a recipe made up of Lovecraft-ian and pulp horror tropes and stirred them into a story.  But its a coherent and entertaining enough story, with some genuinely gruesome touches, and he doesn't pour on the Lovecraftian cliches to the extent that more accomplished authors such as, say, August Derleth did.

Speaking of Augie, for some reason he took a particular dislike to Thompson's Lovecraftain writhings and slapped him with a cease-and-desist, thus ending the Cthulhoid career of Mssr. C. Hall Thompson.  No one seems to know what this was about, given that Thompson's stuff, though hardly classic, was no worse than any number of HPL-pastiches sanctioned by Derleth and Arkham House over the years.







Sunday, April 22, 2018

"The Utmost Abomination"

by Lin Carter
originally published Weird Tales, Fall, 1973

Eibon recalls how he was once apprenticed to Zylac, after his pops was done by the priesthood of Youndeh.
Zylac has an unfortunate obsession with the magical writings of the serpent-men, and learns to read their language in order to study their writings.  Eibon finds this creepy.

Evidently, he's got a point, since Zylac ends up transforming into a giant snake-thing before being killed.

Very minor Ashton-Smithia from Mssr. Carter.
 

"Fall of Cthulhu"

by Michael Alan Nelson, originally published, Boom Studios, 2007
 
Okay, let's see here...

Ancient times: Abdul Alhazred writes his poetry, menaced by demons.  He finds himself in the Dreamlands.  Then he is taken to the Nameless City and fed to lizard-things. Nyarlathotep shows up, punishes the cultists who tortured Alhazred, and takes his body, to be "mended".

Modern times: Nyarlathotep, now calling himself Mr. Arkham and living with a pencilneck creep named Connor, are on a raft in a swamp.   They pull Alhazred's bod out of the water, and Nyarlathotep magically revives it.  It seems he wants Alhazred to write a new chapter for the Necronomicon.

Cy Morgan is a grad student at Miskatonic U and a total weenie.  He also has a bitchy prima donna fiancee named Jordan.  One day while they're being "witty" at an outdoor cafe, Cy's Uncle Walt, who raised him (and his sister), toddles up, sits down, rambles about a coming threat and then pulls out a gun and blows his own head off.  Lunch, needless to say, is a bust.

Back home, Cy and Jordan go through Uncle Walt's bag (which the coppers clumsily hand off to them), wherein they find an ornamental dagger.  Cy finds Walt's apartment empty and dusty, containing only some papers and a thumb drive.  The drive contains articles on paranormal events, and a thesis entitled: "The Call: Polytheistic Ritual and Primitive Cult Worship in the Modern Age".  Parts of it are in language like none Cy has ever seen. 

That night, while Cy is pissing, Uncle Walt's ghost shows up, quoting "ph'nglui" etc.  Cy follows him into the Dreamlands where a giant entity that looks like the offspring of Freddie the Frog and Little Richard (we learn that this entity is named The Harlot) gives him some cryptic warnings.  Cy smarts off to The Harlot and runs away.

An envelope address leads Cy to a boarding house where Uncle Walt was apparently living.  It's run by Mr. Arkham, who just happens to be Nyarlathotep in case you weren't paying attention.  The place is filthy and largely empty.  Cy he finds a weird statue of Cthulhu there.

Jordan the Prima Donna meanwhile is not liking Cy's deepening involvement in the mystery.  When Cy returns to  Uncle's boarding room, he finds the priest who performed Unc's funeral service there: naked, covered in symbols and babbling more Cthuloid stuff.  In one of the most hilarious moments in all of comic-dom, Cy threatens him with an "epic ass beating".  The priest kills himself, saving Cy the effort.

Things go from bad to worse for poor l'il Cy.   He asks a fellow student to translate the Arabic from Walt's files, but finds the guy with his jaw cut off.  Some students at the college hold a ritual on the quad - apparently not even realizing they're doing it.  Someone breaks into Cy/Jordan's home.  They take the hard drive, Uncle's bag, but leave the ceremonial dagger (said dagger is starting to give Jordan the heebie-jeebies - she says it's watching her).

More mysteries:  the priest wasn't from the church that gave Unc's services.  Cy never hears from his sister despite multiple efforts to reach her.  Jordan is threatening to leave.  In exchange for a wisdom tooth, The Harlot tells him something of a vast series of connected rituals meant to call the Old Ones back.  Apparently, this was what Unc was warning about and trying to stop.

Cy's investigations lead to him being literally hunted by a bow-and-arrow wielding pack of Nodens-worshipping fratboys.  He escapes.  Deciding that the whole thing has gotten too crazy, he plans to cease his investigations - but returns home to find Jordan dead and mutilated, by someone using the ornamental dagger!

Cy drinks himself into a stupor while Nyarlathotep has Connor steal the dagger from police evidence.  Cy, remembering enough, confronts Nyarlathotep with a gun, but ends up being used in a ritual by the mummified Alhazred.  When Cy comes to, he finds his sisters remains inside a sarcophagus.  This leaves him catatonic, and he ends up in a mental institution.  In The Dreamlands, The Harlot tells him that Nodens is hunting Nyarlathotep (now why Cy doesn't just say "well, gee - you can find him at the Arkham Boarding House!" is not clear).

Meanwhile, Connor is off in the arctic with a hired expedition, looking for the remains of a ship that was grounded there in 1907.  They find it, and retrieve from it a chained trunk.  Back in Arkham, Connor picks up a chick at a bar, brings her back to the boarding house, and has her open it.  A spined, fangy thing leaps out, kills her, and assumes her form.  This thing is called Sysyphyx, and is an old buddy of Nyarlathotep.  She and the Big N go off to do evil stuff.

Among such evil stuff is taking a job at a comic book store.  As if that isn't evil enough, she gives a kid an ornamental box.  The kid turns into a cruel, sadistic fuck before being eaten by a gloopy monster.  Sys kills his mother, and somehow out of all this a nasty-looking thingie called Vol'kunast is born.

Connor takes drugs and enters the Dreamlands.  There a priest of somesuch causes him to vomit out his soul (which looks like a sea-worm).  The Harlot shows up.  She Shows him the Mask of Kundai, and helps him become the Vessel of the Gith, an Anubis-like beastie.

Meanwhile, a little girl in a series of weird masks skips around The Dreamlands and then enters Arkham.

Sys and Mask Girl poke around Miskatonic U, and together with Nyarlathotep they kill a prof.  Connor's in a biker bar, so they go there and kill everyone, finally torching the place.  Connor undergoes a particularly gross surgery as part of his "vessel"-ing.  I'm completely unclear as to what happens to him after that, since the story takes off on another thread...

Back in Arkham, the cops arrest a young hispanic girl named "Lucifer".  She's apparently a thief and a drifter, but had a connection to Uncle Walt.  When told that he's been murdered, she weirds out and draws a magic circle around herself.  "The Gray Man" turns up and kills everyone except the Sheriff and Luci (its seems the magic circle makes her invisible to him).  Luci manages to save the sheriff and sends him to The Dreamlands, where we're subjected to another dose of The Harlot.  Having sacrificed to The Harlot the memories of his wife, the sheriff returns and together with Luci, hunts The Gray Man.  They manage to capture him and turn him over to The Harlot.

Luci is sent by The Harlot to break Cy out of the mental hospital.  Meanwhile, flaming amphibians and other monsters fall from the sky over Arkham, while weird and horrific events occur worldwide.  Cy, Luci, and the Sheriff head from Miskatonic U, and the Necronomicon.  They find that a new chapter has mysteriously appeared in the book.  They are taken prisoner.  Cy goes off with Sysyphyx, who has taken Jordan's form, and Luci fights with a marionette.  Luci and sheriff head for R'lyeh, which they reach with remarkable ease.  During their escape, Nyarlathotep erases the sheriff's mouth for no particular reason.  Luci cuts him a new one (after that, however, his mouth is drawn as normal - also without explanation).

At R'lyeh, a ceremony to raise Cthulhu is underway.  Nodens shows up and slugs it out with Nyarlathotep.  Sheriff takes out Sysyphyx and confronts The Harlot.  Luci grabs the Necronomonicon from Alhazred, who is torn apart by monsters ("not again!" he wails).  Mask Girl and Luci have a confrontation.  The Harlot reveals that she has taught Cy how to undo Nyarlathotep's work.  Nyarlathotep slugs her.  She releases and army of captured souls to take him out.  Luci uses the Necronomicon to cast a spell to sink R'lyeh.  She and sheriff escape on a life raft.  Later, The Harlot meets with Luci again, and Luci learns (apparently) that she is to be the new Harlot. 

Luci returns to Arkham, and with her newfound power, gives the sheriff back his memories of his wife.

An interesting epilogue tells us about Mr. Arkham aka Nyarlathotep's cat, who was once a high priest in Atlantis.


This relatively acclaimed graphic novel, or comic book, if you prefer (I'm personally just fine with "comic book"), is one of the first major Lovecraft-inspired comics.  Which is part of the reason for its acclaim, I suppose.  Cuz in truth - it's not very good.

Look, comics need good artwork, and good stories.  Good artwork alone might get them by.  Fall of Cthulhu has mostly poor artwork, and a mediocre story.

Let's start with the artwork.  Jean-Jacques Dzialowski is responsible for the first five issues.  His work is scratchy, sketchy and crude-looking, despite a good sense of layout.  Things improve a bit when Greg Scott takes over with issue 6.  But when Marc Rueda takes over on the next ish, the art, though more polished, starts to look like Satuday morning cartoon cels.  This title really called for a Berni Wrightson or Mike Ploog or Ghastly Graham Ingles-type. In general, despite the occasional effective panel, the artwork is subpar throughout the series.

Then there's the story.  While Nelson clearly knows his Lovecraft, the tone of the tale overall recalls not Lovecraft but the splatter-surrealism of Clive Barker.  I'm not saying this is bad, per se, but, (allow me to point out I like Barker's early stuff quite a bit), it's not what I look for in an HPL story.  And frankly the endless gore, torture, mass murder and such palled on me very fast.  

Nelson is good on dialog, but there again the art fails him, as his fairly naturalistic dialog rings false when combined with the poor, scratchy art.  He's also good on characterization, but he throws in his worst ideas along with his best.  More than the first third is taken up by the thoroughly unlikeable Cy and Jordan.  Luci is fine and compelling and well-drawn character - but we don't even encounter her till more than a third of the way in.  And naming her "Lucifer" is about as dumb as you can get.  The sheriff is your basic Mr. Buzzcut, but he's depicted as a good man who's very prosaic groundedness is what helps him survive.  Mr. Arkham aka Nyarlathotep is your basic Sinister Dude and not at all interesting.  And then there's The Harlot.  What the hell Nelson was thinking with this character, I'll never know.  She's both repulsive and obnoxious - and though those both appear to be intentional, I groaned inwardly every time she showed up.  I wish he'd come up with something better here.

In the end, despite an interesting idea and image or two, Fall of Cthulhu didn't do much for me.  I first encountered it several years ago and never purused it past the first six issues, and never would have bothered with it again if I hadn't decided to cover it for this blog.  And I don't think I was missing anything.  The definitive Cthulhu graphic novel still waits, dreaming....