"The House of Cthulhu"

by Brian Lumley

published Whispers #1, 1973

...once upon a time-eth, in a land that was older than old back before anything older than that ever existed, there was a fellow named-eth Zar-thule who was badder than bad, as in really bad, as in he was a pirate and prone to such nasty nasties as sacking and burning whole cities, torturing and killing people, and voting for Republicans.  Anyway, this Zar-thule, who was as always on the lookout for loot, did learn-eth of a forbidden island called "Arlyeh", whereupon he would find-eth the house of the black god Cthulhu, and many treasures.  

And so he and his cruel crew and his dragon ship made-eth their way to the forbidden island of Arlyeh, and there found-eth the priest Hath-Vehm, keeper of the gate of the House of Cthulhu, who was very old-eth but totally uncooperative, refusing to say the magic words that would open the gate, even under torture.

But Zar-thule would not relent on his torture of the old priest, even when one of his crewmen gotteth his arms turned into something so icky that he did burn them off himself.  But finally, realizing that the plot must goeth somewhere, the old priest relented and said the magic words.  But even as the gates-eth of the House of Cthulhu didst open, he didst say other magic words, which would cause the island to sink, taking Cthulhu and everyone else with it, so Zar-thule didst cut off his head.  

And then Zar-thule and his crew were attacked by gloopy tentacles from within the House of Cthulhu, and Zar-thule didst realize that the House of Cthulhu held, not treasure, but ol' octopus-face himself-eth, and thus did flee the island even as it sank.  And he did drift for many days, until his ship came unto a peaceful people who, even though they realized he was-eth a rat bastard, didst stick him in a pit and feed and care for him until finally a mushroom-shaped parasitic growth did take over his whole body and he died.  The end-eth.

The House of Cthulhu is a tale writ by Lumley not in imitation of Lovecraft but in definite imitation of Clark Ashton Smith.  It its most assuredly Klarkash-ton-ian in tone, and I have to confess Lumley pulls off the Smith style pretty effectively.  I should note that it also basically duplicates the plot of Smith's "Tale of Satampra Zeiros" down to the T.

Is it any good?  Well, as I say, it's an effective pastiche.  I suspect Lumley was basically playing with the Smith style for his own amusement more than anything else.  Judged on that, it's amusing.  But seekers of "cosmic horror" will have to seek elsewhere...